Ep. 31: Making Unpopular Decisions

If you want to make a personal or professional pivot, if you want to level up or change in any way, you are going to probably need to make some choices that people around you don’t agree with or support. You will need to get comfortable with making unpopular decisions. In this episode Stephanie walks through an unpopular decision she made recently in her business, and gives you two tools you can use when you’re making your own unpopular decisions as you’re on your way to your big pivot.  

Hey there, welcome back to another episode of the I'm the Problem podcast. My name is Stephanie Finigan. I'm your host and coach for this episode. And today we're going to talk about making unpopular decisions. This is not going to be the topic I was going to record today, but I've actually recently made a decision that I think is pretty unpopular and so I thought it was a good moment to reflect on that and share with you what I've learned and why I wanted to do it and how I got myself to do it anyway.

So just before we get into that, I want to mention there are two new trainings up over at makeyourpivot.co. One is a free course on five tools you need to finally make your pivot. These are five of my favorite tools that I have used and I have recommended to clients when they've wanted to make any sort of big change in their life, personal, professional, whatever it is. They're really, really useful and the training is divided up into five very short, bite-sized videos. It's meant to be really digestible. It is free over at makeyourpivot.co, so head over there to get that.

And then the other training is for anyone out there that is looking to make a career pivot or thinking about it or you've been wanting to make a career change for a long time and you just can't get yourself to do it. It's called the Career Pivot Starter Kit and it is over under the trainings tab on makeyourpivot.co. It's got nine modules plus two bonus modules filled with every topic that you could need to get coaching on in order to get yourself to finally start to make that career pivot that you've been wanting to make and you just can't get yourself there. There's even modules that go over specific objections that I have had myself when I've made my pivots, things that I've heard from clients as I coach them through it. So it is as if I've sort of cracked open your brain and got in there and anything you've been worried about, not enough money, not enough time, not enough skill, not enough runway left in your career, whatever it is, I have given you the coaching in that kit to be able to coach yourself through whatever your objections are to making your own career pivot. It also comes with worksheets per module. They're meant to be really applicable and useful so that you can start taking action right away on your pivot.

So those are the two new trainings up over at makeyourpivot.co. So I recommend you head over there and take a look. Again, five tools for finally making your pivot. That one is free, as well as the Career Pivot Starter Kit, which is a training for anybody that is looking to make a career change and you just can't quite get yourself there.

Okay, so now on to today's episode about making unpopular decisions or unpopular choices. This happened to me really recently with my business, although I've made a number of unpopular choices in my own life. I've talked about a lot of them on previous episodes. This one was related specifically to my business. So up until really recently, there were two ways to work with me one-on-one as a coach. One was, and still is, a package. You buy a certain number of coaching sessions and we work together over an extended period of time. The other way was just a one-off session that you could buy at a relatively reduced rate and you could just kind of drop in as needed, grab a session here and there, and then move along. I offered those one-off sessions to clients who had worked with me before because we could have sort of a shorthand and just kind of dive in and do a check-in. Usually what was happening was I had returning clients who would come back and just get a session here or there on something that we had already coached on previously. So it was a nice way to kind of check in with former clients and give them a very easy, flexible option to get continual coaching one-on-one without making a bigger time or financial commitment to additional coaching.

I like that idea in theory, but as I started to think about the business as I move ahead into 2025 and beyond and continue to grow this business, I started thinking about what are the kind of coaching offerings that I want to be able to offer to clients and what are the options that I think best serve the clients that I want to serve. And as I thought about it, what I realized was that the one-off single sessions, which were popular, were not the direction that I want to move the business in. So when I think about coaching, I think about it as it's like going to the gym. And I've said this before, and I've heard this from other coaches, so this is not like a unique idea, but I like this as an analogy for coaching, which is to say you can go to the gym once in a while or take a class, right? Like I like solid core and soul cycle and all of that stuff, right? So I could go do a soul cycle class or go to the gym once in a while and I will leave that class or that hour at the gym or whatever feeling good. I'm glad I did it, I've gotten some endorphins, I've sweat, I've moved, it's all good. But if I want to actually see sustainable change in my health, in my body, in my fitness, in whatever my goals are, if I actually want to make a change, I have to commit to going more regularly. I have to commit to showing up when I don't want to. I have to commit to doing the work that's actually needed in order to make change happen. And it's the same thing with coaching. So you can have a single session. I still offer 60-minute consults with clients who are brand new or people that are considering coaching. You can definitely walk away from one of those sessions with some sort of change. You can definitely walk away with tools that you've gained or strategies or just something that makes you feel a bit better and most people do. And it's the same with the single sessions that I offered. People would walk away from that feeling better or having some sort of nugget or something tangible that they can hold onto and take with them as they move forward that will help them. And that's good and that's useful.

But what I realized as I thought about my own business and the type of people I want to work with and the type of work I want to do and the impact I want the business to have as it grows, I was realizing that it didn't make a lot of sense for me to be offering single sessions because I genuinely don't believe that that's how transformation happens. And I want to help people transform in the areas of their lives that they want to transform. I want to help people build beliefs in themselves. I want to help people break down the old thought highways that are keeping them from making the change they want to make. I want to help people improve their relationships and their money and their career and all of that stuff. And in order to do that, it's not one session. You have to be willing to dig in and do the work and that means a longer-term commitment. It doesn't mean you have to be in coaching forever and ever, but it certainly does mean you need to invest more time and therefore more money than what a single session option was providing.

So I made the choice, even though those single sessions, a lot of my clients really liked them. And even though that was income and that was revenue for my business, I'd made the decision to no longer offer single sessions. It didn't align anymore with the type of business I want to have or the people I want to work with or the impact that I want to make. So I got rid of the single sessions and it's not popular, right? I've gotten feedback and some people are not happy with me about it and some people are like they'll mention in passing like, oh, I wish that you still offered that or, you know, right now is not a good time for me to invest in a big package. I just kind of needed a one session here and there. And my response to that is I fully understand. And also, there are other ways to work with me. So you can always, anybody can email in to the free email coaching option that I have, which is for those that don't know, it's pivotcoachingqueue@gmail.com. And you can write an email there. And I will write back to you typically within 24 hours with email coaching. And we can go back and forth forever on that if you want to. You can always learn more and get free coaching through this podcast and the blog and my newsletter and all the social media and all the other ways that I try and evangelize coaching and coaching tools so that they're accessible to people, whether people are paying for coaching or not. But again, for me, it was the best choice for my business to make the decision to remove single sessions and say, okay, we are only going to be offering a full package going forward.

So when people come back to me and they're not happy with the decision that I've made, or they're disappointed, or thinking, you know, it's all about the money or whatnot, I've had to employ some specific tools just to make sure that I'm continuing to stay in the headspace of, nope, this is the right decision for me and not get swayed by other people who are unhappy with the choice that I've made, with my unpopular decision.

So one of the tools I've employed that I really like, this is one of the tools in the free training that I mentioned at the top of the pod, is about gifting opinions. So everybody gets to have their opinion. And if somebody comes to me and says, hey, I'm not happy with this. I thought you were doing single sessions. You're not anymore. It's not fair. I'm disappointed. I wish you would change this again. I can say, you know what? You're allowed to have that opinion. I fully understand. And frankly, if I was in your shoes, I would probably be feeling the same way. Like I get it. But for me, this is the decision that I want to make. And I need to explain it no further. but I know that internally. Nope, I don't have to over-explain this. I don't have to apologize. I don't have to do anything other than just know this is the right decision for myself and my business. And if somebody is unhappy with that, they get to have that opinion. And I'm not gonna argue with them, and I'm not gonna try and change their mind. I'm gonna give them the gift of a hassle-free opinion. I'm going to say you get to have that opinion and I'm not even going to give you a hard time about it and I'm not going to try and convince you that you're wrong. You get to have the opinion that you want about this. I'm going to keep doing what I want to do, but you go right ahead and have that opinion. And just gifting someone a hassle-free opinion is really helpful because what it does is it allows other people to have their feelings without arguing with you and it allows you to stay focused on whatever it is that you want without getting distracted by trying to over explain or over apologize or second guess yourself. So that's one tool I've employed when people have been not happy with me regarding any decision that I've made. In this case, it's regarding the business decision that I've made.

The other tool that I've employed a lot is just processing whatever the emotion is that comes up. So if somebody, particularly if it's been a long-term client, somebody I know pretty well, has expressed to me that they're disappointed that I'm not offering single sessions anymore, sometimes I can give to the opinion and it's not a big deal. Other times it does sting. There is an emotion that comes up and I feel it and I can tell like, oh, that one hurts a little bit. That stings a little bit. That feedback is a little bit harsh. It feels a certain way and I don't like it. And usually what we do when we don't like a feeling is that we work really quickly to try and like move away from it or fix it or make it go away or run from it or cover it up with drinking or food or TV or apologizing or whatever the ways are that we try and like avoid feeling the emotion. Instead, what I've done in this case is just name the emotion and then just sort of let it be there. So somebody who might be disappointed that I've made this decision or upset with me or angry with me, I try and name it. Like for me, what's the, when I read that feedback or hear that feedback, what's the emotion that's coming up? I can say it stings, but what does that actually mean? The emotion is I feel ashamed or I feel embarrassed or I feel defensive or I feel fear. And fear has come up a lot. I'm like, oh God, this client's never going to come back again. I might lose this client. So whatever the feeling is, you just name the feeling and then you just sort of sit with it. And what you'll notice is if you sit with an emotion that feels uncomfortable, it actually only lasts in your body for about 60 to 90 seconds. It feels yucky, which is, you know, a technical term, but it will leave you. It's a short amount of time that you're going to feel that way. It will pass. And so I just sort of let myself feel that way. And I work on thoughts like, you know, that's too bad that this person isn't understanding this. And I just let myself just sit with that. Or I think something like, you know, I wish that this person understood why I was doing this, or I wish this was easier to make this change. And it's not. And that's okay. And just sort of letting it be okay that it's uncomfortable. Anytime we want to level up, anytime we want to do anything differently, it's uncomfortable. Just acknowledge it and be like, yes, it's uncomfortable. This feels crappy. And then just let it feel that way. It will fade. I've found that to be a really useful tool.

So those are two of the ways that I have managed the feedback and the disappointment or emotions or opinions of other people when I've made this business decision that has not been super popular but I know is the right decision. And hopefully those are tools that you can use if you are trying to navigate a decision that you know is right for you, but isn't popular with everybody else. Again, gift a hassle-free opinion to other people, acknowledge, name, and feel the emotion that comes up when you do feel a certain way about the feedback that others might have, and then just let yourself sit with that and process it. It will pass, and from there, after it passes, then you can decide what you want to do next.

Okay, so those are just two strategies. There's many others, but I'll leave you with those two today. Practice those if you're making an uncomfortable decision, and let me know how they work for you. You can always find me over at info at makeyourpivot.co. And if you are interested in a coaching package, if you're interested in learning more about that, head over to MakeYourPivot.co and sign up for one of the 60-minute consults that I mentioned and we can chat for about an hour and I can give you some coaching and we can decide if a bigger package is going to be useful for you as you move forward on whatever your pivot is.